I have decided that I ought to write a book about my religion. The Hedgehog has spoken to me in a dream, and she has said, "Go out among the people and spread my love among them." So I will. The first thing in my book is the meditation positions necessary to attain enlightenment. The first position is The Scared Hedgehog. This position is acheived best when alone, curled into a ball, with the knees drawn against the chest. A focal object, such as a stuffed Super Grover, can be used to center one's mind. This position is for the consideration of loneliness, but eventual salvation from said loneliness.The second position is The Sacred Hedgehog. It is performed much like The Scared Hedgehog, but requires two supplicants. It is most helpful when nekkid. Because curling up into a ball is more difficult when another person is involved, the Hedgehog only requires that one knee be slightly bent, to remind us of the precarious nature of life. The two pilgrims involved must lay back to front, occasionally switching places to provide balance. This position is for the consideration of everything wonderful in life, things which may be discussed by the supplicants as they begin their mutual journey to enlightenment. (ed. note: This is based on a succession of conversations with Kablooey. We one day hope to own a hedgehog named Godde.)