I borrowed Jean's car for some reason, and I couldn't give it back to her because everytime I drove over to drop it off, there was no one to drive me back home. The car was a complete clunker, and I couldn't drive it very well. I think it might have had something to do with Sheville, the website Red designed and I implemented, which has now been mostly taken over by another designer, but still looks like crap and makes me itch just a little. Jean and her partner own Sheville.
Then, I went to a party, or something, but there were only a few people there. It was more like we were spending the night in a haunted house, only no one was particularly frightened. Red and I ended up sleeping on the same couch and making out. The whole time, I was thinking, "Wow, this is a spectacularly bad idea." We could see someone through the door of the room, but I don't remember who it was or if they could see us. I think this section might be related to how I hurt Red's feelings at my birthday party during the make-out game. I told her I didn't want her to participate, which I feel was a fairly reasonable request. Making out with your ex, even in the context of a game, could conceivably cause more drama than it's worth. It is entirely possible that this section of the dream was actually inspired more by my dining choice of Spinach Artichoke Dip at Burgermeister's, though.
Then, I was in a movie, kind of. My little sister, not Doobie but my movie little sister, had suddenly started smoking and eating like a fiend. My movie mom asked me to find out what happened. I confronted her about it and she finally told me, after I tackled her to make her sit down and talk to me, that she went to an abandoned airstrip with two friends who had raped and beaten her. The dream changed so that I was there, watching, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I never saw them leave the airstrip, but after it was over, they came back it on one of those old school cartoon planes with the two level wings. My sister flew it, and the boys rode on the outside, holding onto the wings.
Then Bear wanted to go outside.
Cool. In your dream, a younger you (or what you now see as a younger, or more naive you) went from being the victim, on a self destructive pattern, to a “plucky young heroine” who has the courage to fly above your circumstances (or captain your own plane – your life). Sure old habits die hard and memories of what hurt you or was uncomfortable for you still linger a bit- the boys holding on to the wings. Because they are on the outside of the plane, rather than down on the ground, I’d say you still have a little fear of falling back into your old patterns – as do I, but remember, we’ll get through it together. Okay – when the tattoos??? I have a meeting at three today, then I have to go to a movie with some of the cast from the Tempest – so tonight? tomorrow? oh, one more thing. I’d also say that the fact that you recognized this girl as your little sister, says something about the respect you have for Doobie and to perhaps see yourself in that same light
By: Swirly on May 20, 2006
at 12:51 pm