I got some aaaaction, I got some aaaaction. Everyone sing along now.
So tonight, I went to see The Rebelles with Doobie, CMG, and Suzanne. They were incredible. I have been to a bachelorette party with Mahalia Mojo. We made fun of the cheap-ass dildos. Anyway, it was awesome, they were awesome, awesomeness abounded.
Then, we went to Hairspray. The drag was looooooooooong. And bad. and looooooooooooong. It lasted, I shit you not, until 2:45. That’s 3 hours, count em, three! of bad drag. Luckily, there were other people to amuse me. Tootsie Roll was there, smoking a cigar and throwing down her dollar bills in an orgiastic fit of tipping. The expression on her face when she dances with drag queens must be seen to be believed. I suggest a sociological study.
So, after most of the rugby team jumped ship, I decided to at least see if a move could be made on a member of the team I thought was cute, who shall be called Ivy. Lo and behold, as soon as I walked over to join their small group, Ivy was On It. She felt bad though, because it was a rugby recruitment drive and they were Not Supposed To Hook Up. I convinced her that Dancing was not the same as Hooking Up, so we went upstairs, sang karaoke, fought over who got to lead, had Deep and Meaningful Bar Conversation, all that shit.
A small story: Ivy and I were dancing to the last song of the night (even though the interminable drag show was still going on downstairs). She was wearing a homemade shirt that said “Rugby Recruiter” on the front and “Bi Me Beer” on the back. In what I felt was a funny and flirtatious way, I leaned into her ear and asked, “So, are you really bi, or is that just a rugby recruitment strategy?” She inhaled sharply, said “ut uh” indignantly, and grabbed my hand to drag me over between two of the pool tables. I thought I was about to get yelled at in the middle of the club. “What’s my first name?” she demanded. When she was certain I knew it, she pointed upward to where it was chalked, inside a heart, with the name of her former girlfriend. “That was a long time ago.” and we went back to dancing.
And at the end, when we traded numbers, we kissed and it was awesome.
And now I feel slightly dorky for being all like “woot! I got kissed.”
But “Woot! I got Kissed!”
