My database design professor, the one who looks like Zach Morris in bad makeup, is horrible. I know, I know, there’s a reason he teaches online. But my video game prof is good. He has a sense of humor. His lessons aren’t stultifyingly boring. DB guy is heinous.

1) He picks the most complicated way to say what he means. I’m no slouch when it comes to deciphering the jargon, but this guy is ridiculous.

Hi Zach Morris,

Can you please clarify what you mean by ” logical consequence of the definition of keys and domains”?

You lost me on the example provided.

and his answer:

Hi student,

This is the language of the theoreticians. They speak this way in order to be very precise in what they are saying. Here’s what it means:

**First a definition of DKNF**

A relation is in Domain/Key Normal Form if every constraint on the relation is a logical consequence of the definition of keys and domains.

**Next is a definition of a constraint**

A constraint is a rule that restricts the static values that attributes may assume. The rule must be precise enough for you to tell whether the attribute follows the rule or not. A static value is one that does not vary with time.

**Next the definition of a key (actually a primary key)**

A key is a unique identifier of a tuple.

**Then the definition of a domain of an attribute**

The domain of an attribute is the set of all values that the attribute can take.

Here’s the answer in actual English, provided by me, who has only been reading this for about 3 weeks now: “DKNF means that only one column, the key, can define the information contained in any other column.” So no row stating that your person is a billionaire, then stating their net worth later. How hard was that?

2)He doesn’t ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION. I’ve asked three now, and he’s basically told me to fuck off each time. Of course, since he answers questions like above, who needs that?

3)His lectures are so dull they make my eyes cross. Now, I will grant you that I may be completely unsuited for database development. It could be that having a beer with dinner then doing my homework is a bad idea. Beer and video games go well together, beer and db design, not so much. Granted. BUT OMFG Write Some Text That Doesn’t Make My Head Hurt. AAUGH.

Breathing, breathing. So, thankfully, ed2go lets you see who is teaching the class before you take it. And I will avoid Zach Morris like the plague.