Fuck bathing suits. Fuck bras. Fuck bathing suits that are a different size even if they have the same number on them. Fuck being a 30F, whatever the fuck that is. Fuck Sears and Dillard’s and Victoria’s Secret and especially fuck Belk. Fuck going shopping after work.

Fuck french fries. Fuck beef and pork. Fuck Hot Pastrami Sandwiches. With a fork. Fuck being able to cook. Fuck fried chicken.

Fuck the internet and fuck UPS. Fuck the beach, the pool, and giant bags of sand.